The North Pole Cocktail
As the holidays approach and family arrives, my stress levels could never be as high. With presents under the tree and crying children at my feet, what I would do for a sweet holiday martini.
Hence, don't worry about that list — naughty or nice, who gives a sh*t! I hear coal goes great with the taste of libations on your lips. Check out this list instead, it's better than his. All these drinks are naughty, no nice ones for the kids. From spiked hot chocolate to mudslides and punch, it will make you exclaim, "No more parties with eggnog and grumps!"
So gather round, and listen to this cheer: Santa comes with a bottle of vodka this year. Or if Santa's a mystery, and you're of another ministry, taste these drinks for the simple pleasure of sinistry. And if you're of the age when the holidays seem strange . . . make one of these holiday cocktails! I'm sure they'll give your holidays a welcome change.
— Intro and additional reporting by Slade Warnken