Jeffree Star is no stranger to the limelight, but sometimes he's unfortunately dragged into the public eye for some less-than-ideal reasons, like when his friendship with Kat Von D came to a dramatic end or when he allegedly released a blackface ad.
It seems as though every time these controversies arise, they're coupled with the resurfacing of Star's past, a past that involves offensive, racist comments and videos from nearly 12 years ago that he now regrets. So the 31-year-old makeup artist set aside his highlighters and lipsticks for a new video in which he sits in front of the camera to confront the "f*cked-up subject" of racism and extensively apologize for his past actions and words. He starts by being upfront and admitting that since joining the YouTube community about 10 years ago, he has been "sucked up into a lot of drama," but he's ready to tell his side of the story "from human being to human being."
If you'd rather not watch the 15-minute video above, we've pulled out some of his most notable points.
On his past racist comments
"In these videos, I say some really disgusting, nasty, vile, and embarrassing things, and you know what's f*cked up? The past can never be erased. It is always going to be there, and my past has been recorded."
On how he feels looking back at that old footage
"It makes me sick to my stomach because I don't know who that person was. I know who I am today."
"What I was saying is not what I represent. I think racism is a very serious subject, especially in today's world. I'm embarrassed as a person because that is not what I've ever stood for."
On why he uttered those racist comments in the past
"The person that said those horrible, vile things — that person was depressed, that person was just angry at the world, that person felt like they were not accepted, that person was seeking attention. . . . I loved seeking attention; I loved the shock value; I loved fighting anger with anger, and I didn't know any better. Does that make it OK? Absolutely not."
"I come from a family of chaos, alcoholism, and when I discovered makeup, that was my happy place. . . . Ten years ago, when I left the house, I wish it was like today. I would leave the house and people would spit on me. They would scream 'freak,' and they would degrade me every single day, and what did I do? I fought back with rage. I was emotionally abused every time I left the house. People did not accept me. I felt like a piece of sh*t, so what did I do? I fought back with anger, I fought back with rage, and it's wrong."
On how he thinks others should handle similar internet controversies
"If you take one thing away from this video, please do not make the same mistakes that I did. . . . I want everyone to learn from me and my wrongs."
"When you're being attacked and someone is bullying you and hurting you, it's OK to defend yourself; it's OK to respond. But be careful of how you respond because how I handled things was not OK and you never know how it is going to affect another person. I know so many of you deal with this sh*t on a daily basis, but remember: what you say to the next stranger could affect them in ways that you do not know."
On how he personally plans to handle the internet drama moving forward
"I'm not gonna feed into it anymore. I'm not going to feed the fire of hate with hate. I just think it has to stop."