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The Rules For Friends With Benefits

The 10 Commandments of Friends With Benefits

Before you embark on a friends with benefits "relationship," you'll want to read these 10 rules from our friends at Never Liked It Anyway.

There is no official rulebook when it comes to friends with benefits and no strings attached. No Friends with Benefits For Dummies (or maybe there is, and Barnes and Nobles just hasn't restocked). Contrary to popular belief, there is a difference between the two. FWB has an established friendship that may or may not be more important than the benefits. No strings attached is just straight-up sex and nothing else. For general purposes we'll combine the two, giving you the 10 commandments of friends with benefits:

  1. Thou shall not get clingy. The most basic and essential principle to FWB is that you two aren't dating or "official." Bombarding them with text and snapchats is bound to scare them away, leaving you sexless and bored.
  2. Thou shall not linger. After waking up severely hungover, squished against my wall, and with zero interest to socialize, the last thing I wanted was awkward small talk with the guy laying beside me. "I'll leave in 10 minutes." An hour goes by, and I was still squished against my wall with my drunken hook-up from the night before hogging my pillows. Don't be that person. No one likes a lingerer.
  3. Thou shall not get personal. Keep it professional aka don't introduce them to your personal life. They don't need to meet your friends, and especially not family members. "Don't ask me about my day. You're a source of physical fun, not an emotional tampon."
  4. Thou shall pick brawn over brains. Pick someone you're only attracted to physically. Mental compatibility leads to bonds and developing emotions. Less time talking, more time messing around.
  5. Thou shall unbalance time. Time spent in the bedroom should out weigh time anywhere else. If you two are spending more time out and about, you're doing it wrong.
  6. Thou shall use protection. Always, Always, Always. This should just speak for itself.
  7. Thou shall set boundaries. Set some guidelines: are other FWB allowed? Do you want to know if there are others? (Which you probably should for health concerns. Gotta look out for your lady Pikachu)
  8. Thou shall keep it fun. If it becomes work, stressful, or some sort of mind game Sudoku puzzle, then why are you involved?
  9. Thou shall keep eyes open. Always keep in mind that you aren't dating. You are still on the market for that real special someone to come sweep you off your feet. Until then, tall, tan, and averagely handsome in the apartment down the hall can satisfy some of your desires.
  10. Thou shall keep cautious. Beware: someone always falls in the end. So, keep your feelings in check.

— Alicia Pipkin

Image Source: Sony Pictures
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